Not a good "Spain day"

I have found, since arriving here in Barcelona, that each day can be classified as one of two things: a good "Spain day", or a not so good "Spain day" (I don't want to say a bad "Spain day", since, like pizza, even when it's bad it's still pretty good). The good days are amazing. These are the days I find a new Spanish treasure, have a short conversation in Spanish, and enjoy the day with my family in this incredible city. Yesterday? Not a good "Spain day". Unfortunately, our time here will not always be filled with delicious tapas, palm trees, and Gaudi. Some days are going to be frustrating, tear-inducing messes. And if I write about the good, I should also write about the bad.

I had the false notion that once we arrived, the days of errands, to-do lists, and day-to-day toddler drama would somehow be replaced by leisurely lunches, park runs, and collecting fresh food for dinner that night. Kind of like when I thought my maternity leave with Evan would be like a 3 month vacation...hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Not so. As much as we tried to avoid it, we still have a laundry list of unfinished business back home. Stuff like putting all the house stuff to bed, canceling accounts, changing addresses for important accounts, finishing my NP recertification application, etc. etc. Nothing that won't be gone in a month or two, but still, added to our to-do list here, it seems excessive. And now that we are in Spain, the fun-filled immigration paperwork hasn't ended: registering with city hall, NIE cards, finding doctors/vets, all culminating with a trip back to the US for me next month to get my visa, which oddly enough took EIGHT WEEKS to complete. If anyone is ever curious about the process of moving to Spain, just watch this video, it pretty much sums it up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXWZ3uAEKsw The Spanish folks are lovely people, but the red tape and bureaucracies are semi out of control.

We are mostly unpacked, but still have artwork to hang, clothes to wash, housewares to buy, etc. Right now, as far as extras go, we are pretty bare bones...no TV, no washer dryer, no microwave, no coffee maker, no toaster, no cell phone (for me), no house phone. We just got a dishwasher yesterday. Basically we have places to eat and sleep, and computers. So, each day I sit down and decide what is realistically going to get done that day, what absolutely needs to get done that day, then make a list and make a plan. Most days, it takes all day to find and purchase food for lunch and dinner, and make sure the kids are fed, dry, rested, and happy. And until yesterday, I was OK with that. We haven't found our groove or routine yet, so I'm trying to just go with flow for a while until life resumes some kind of normalcy. It actually reminds me a lot of right after you have a baby, when life is just total chaos for six months, then suddenly you know what you are doing and can function again.

Yesterday, I decided that, no matter what, I needed to go to the local mall to buy some much needed items. Chris and I discovered a rather large indoor shopping mall within walking distance last week, full of stores we needed including FNAC (books and electronics) and Media Markt (sort of like Best Buy). Walking distance is key--I had stupidly attempted to take the metro alone with the kids and stroller last week. The metro system is easy enough to figure out, the problem was that there are about 50 little staircases inside the metro between connecting trains. It took me an hour of sweating it out, carrying Mia and the stroller, while simultaneously holding Evan's hand walking up and down the staircases. By the time I got to where I was going, I was so tired, I just wanted to go home. I filed that one under "never again", and vowed to only take the metro with Mia in the Ergo, and Evan walking. With Chris and I both there to carry the stroller, it isn't bad, but with one person it is just not worth the effort. So, knowing this, I had decided to hit up the local shopping mall that, thankfully, is within walking distance from our house. About 1-2 miles away. 

There were a few items I felt were easy enough to carry home in the stroller, and would make life a little easier at home: a toaster, a coffee maker, and a no-slip bathmat. We are a big toast family in the morning, and after two weeks of unsuccessfully trying to toast bread in this oven, I needed a toaster. You would think it is simple to figure out an oven: bake or broil. No. There are about 8 different hieroglyphic-like symbols to choose from on our oven. No words, just varying configurations of squiggly lines, straight lines, and dots on a turn dial. I've tried them all, and I'll be damned if I know what any of them mean. So yes, I needed a toaster. And as much as I love our local cafe and the delicioso cafe con leche it serves, I don't love having to get dressed and leave the house for coffee in the morning. I'm the kind of girl that sets the coffee maker the night before and hits it first thing in the morning. So coffee maker was also on the list. And a bath mat. Sounds trivial, but...we have no tub. I have to strip my children down, stand them in the shower, and point the shower sprayer at them hosing them off like prisoners as they shriek and scream (Evan laughing, Mia usually crying). After two weeks of having to hold one of their arms so they don't slip and break their neck during this fun process, a bath mat was in order.

So, that was the plan. Drop the laundry at the laundry mat (I'm so missing a washer right now), go to the mall, get those three items, and be home in time for lunch and nap. Sounded do-able, and I was determined. 

The day started off well...Mia napped in the morning while I got Evan and I dressed and cleaned up breakfast. I loaded up 1/2 the double stroller with all the laundry, and got my cafe con leche from across the way. Chris headed to work, and I waited for Mia to get up. Once Mia was up, I popped her in the Ergo baby on my back, got Evan in the stroller, and headed out. We managed to get to the laundry mat without any of the mammoth sized laundry bags falling over onto Evan's side of the stroller, yet, in our usual circus-like fashion, we busted through the tiny doors of the mom-and-pop shop laundromat...laundry bags falling all over the place. I put on my calmest face, smiled at the shop keeper and said "Hola". The owner of this shop is this adorable Catalan woman...tiny, little 4ft lady, with a gray bun and friendly eyes. She is sweet, speaks not a word of English, and will often shake her head mutter words I don't understand, usually along the lines of "muy grande" as she takes in how much laundry I have brought her that day. Today, there was another older woman just hanging out in the Laundromat. I've noticed this happens a lot around here. People just hanging out in stores chatting it up with the owner. Like, for hours. Another thing that happens a lot, which is completely endearing and wonderful, is that old Catalan women will stop all the time to look at the kids and talk to them, which is super cute, even when I don't even know what they are saying. They LOVE children here. Well, this patron who happen to be there today, turned to Evan and started her endless string of Catalan, likely talking about him being cute and sweet. Except this woman was very loud, a little scary looking, and was talking so fast and so long she scared the be-jesus out of Evan. I can't really blame him...if a strange person started yelling gibberish at me, I would probably freak out a little too. So Evan burst into tears, and I smiled, unloaded the bags, said "Adios", and headed out the door.

Off we went to the mall, Evan already in a bad state of mind, and us rushing to get there before the kids get hungry again. We make it to the mall, and I remind myself of the plan: Media Markt for a coffee maker and toaster, Chiccos for the bathmat. Except I pass by Alcampo...this HUGE store that looks like Target with one floor of groceries and one floor of household stuff. Thinking I could find some stuff I needed inside, I detour, breaking the first cardinal rule of doing errands with toddlers. Never, never detour. Regardless, I run in, and I find both the coffee maker and the toaster in Alcampo. Good prices, good selection. Then I broke the second cardinal rule of shopping with toddlers. I put the stuff back, and left without buying what I needed thinking I could get it cheaper somewhere else. Instead, I headed down to the grocery store level. Here, I was hoping to find baking products--flour, sugar, spices (oddly enough, I can't seem to find these things at the grocery stores here, or at least I haven't seen it yet). Halfway through the search, the kids start getting whiney and hungry, so I abort the mission, and head to the food court for refreshments. Never a good sign when we've been out for almost an hour, we have nothing to show for it, and already I'm burning more time feeding them. We grab some yogurt, muffins, and a banana for the kids, a second coffee for me, and refuel. The kids eat it all pretty quickly, so I grab my coffee, grab the stroller, and get going to media markt. I soon realize that navigating the double stroller in the tiny, electronic lined aisles of this store is not so easy, so I tuck the coffee cup in the back of the stroller in the netting so I have both hands free. I head right to the kitchen appliance aisle, sensing the limited time I have left...except the same coffee makers and toasters are way more expensive here, and they don't have nearly as much selection as Alcampo did. So, again, I leave empty handed, and head to Chiccos for the bathmat. Inside Chiccos is a little play area with two slides, little bikes, and a little house. The kids see this, and immediately start yelling to get out and play...so I let them out to play as I grab the bathmat and a nightlight for Mia. I let them play, 10 minutes go by, and I am realizing it is getting late, and we still have to get what we came for. So I get Evan back in the stroller and grab Mia, who is now power walking through the store determined to lose me. She screams the second I grab her to put her in the stroller. Out we go, screaming Mia and all, and head back to Alcampo...upon entrance, Evan yells "NO! NO! NO!" (my kids LOOOOOVE shopping), and I put on my happy calm face and grab the first toaster and coffee maker I see, and jog it out to the checkout--finish line is in sight, and damn it, I'm going to get there. Checking out can be tricky here in Spain...it took me a while to figure out all the questions they will ask you in Spanish..."do you need a bag?" (if you don't bring a reusable bag with you to stores, they charge you for a plastic one)..."for here or to take away"...etc. Furthermore, you have to bag your own stuff (groceries included) and they fly through checking people out so you have to bag at the speed of light in order to avoid looking like an idiot and holding up the whole line of people. This time, I had all my appropriate Spanish replies and reusable bags ready to go, but couldn't find my debit card, holding up the line of people as usual, and had two screaming kids in tow. Finally, we paid, and at this point I am flat out sweating. I quickly let down the back of the stroller seat that isn't being used, shove all the stuff in the stroller, and speed walk out of there eager to just get home already. I walk the entire length of the mall, exasperated and tired, but still proud I got what I came for, and stop at the mall exit to get everyone strapped in and organized, ready for the walk home. As I bend down getting my purse from under the stroller, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see someone pointing to the back of the stroller seat, where the coffee I had put in there had tipped upside down when I put the back down in Alcampo, and was pouring out onto the floor. I looked behind us and saw a trail of coffee down the entire length of the mall. AWESOME. 

We made it home, an hour later than expected, and after a quick lunch I put the kids down for nap. As I lay Mia down, I am realizing that she is feeling pretty hot, and flushed...turns out, she has a temperature of 104. Ahhh, that would explain the grumpiness. Poor little thing is just grumpy and clingy and just wants to be laying on me for the rest of the night. I'll cut to the chase here--the day was capped off by Mia throwing up on me, and spending the night by my side in bed in fitful bursts of sleep, punctuated with bouts of crying. Just not a great day. 

I will say, that I know enough to leave these kinds of days where they belong-- behind me. I try not to dwell on the hard parts of living here, and look at these kinds of days as lessons moving forward. Every day that I stumble through a conversation, or arrive somewhere unprepared, I know what to say and do the next time. I look up the words I did not know, prepare myself to answer the questions I was asked, and realize that this is all a learning process. The Spanish have a phrase they like to use when I apologize for not speaking Spanish very well: "Poco y poco" (at least, that is how I think you spell it). It means, "little by little". For me, this is hard. I want everything mastered yesterday. I want to find what I need, speak the language, make new friends, find a work niche here... But, I try to remind myself that this will all take time, and so will knowing how best to integrate mothering two little children into all of it. Poco y poco. I will get there. We all will. It is the challenges in life that truly make life worth living. It pushes you beyond your comfort zone, beyond your own knowledge and understanding, and in the end your life is richer because of it.