Feeling Happy

I've missed a lot in this blog.  I've said it before...it was a busy spring and summer full of incredible trips and moments I know I want to remember with words and pictures.  I'll get there I suppose (Pre-school starts next week, and I'm dreaming of quiet mornings with a little raspberry leaf tea, cooking, and blogging...).  Trips are important to remember.  But lately I'm finding a lot of inspiration in just putting on my headphones early in the morning and taking the dog for a walk.  When the rhythm of a Poblenou morning is put to music, everything starts to look like something choreographed from a musical.  Especially on the mornings when I wake up exhausted, weighed down, and deflated.  Then I go outside.

Our street, just starting to wake up

The fresh market behind our house

Barcelona was meant to be experienced outside.  Period.

The sun.  It's different here, I can't explain it, but it is.  I can quite literally feel life seeping into me when it hits my skin.  When I get to the end of our road, and walk across the palm tree lined street to the sprawling park...the sea ahead of me, the sun above me, and the stresses of life tucked away so far I forgot where I put them.

When I hear the music in my headphones, and am surrounded by this beauty, I'm inspired.  I remember to look down at this growing belly, proud and happy this child is growing and thriving during a time when life is good, and slow, and simple.  Even he himself contributes to this.  From the very beginning, his very presence has often provided me this sense of reassurance.  When I saw him for the first time on ultrasound, I didn't experience the typical giddy excitement or amazement, but rather a sense of peace and calm.  Almost like he was looking at me, telling me, "It's all going to be OK...I'm here and I belong with you, and it's going to be just as it should be."

He's kicking up a storm now that I'm talking about him, happy to finally get some attention today. :)

So far he's been a laid back little dude.  Unassumingly growing as the world whirled around him.  Making his presence known in a way that was different from previous pregnancies.  Odd as it may sound (and this was certainly NOT the case with my previous two pregnancies), I actually feel happy to share space with him.  He makes me feel more beautiful.  It could be this is my last pregnancy, and I'm more accepting because of it.  Knowing I have about 3 weeks left of this part of my life makes the aches, pains, weight gain, and exhaustion seem a little less annoying.  I have a little more perspective this time around...to know that, just like everything else when it comes to children, the hard parts don't last forever, and you will undoubtedly look back on every stage and moment remembering only warm and fuzzy feelings.  I want badly to hold onto what is good, both with this pregnancy and with this short and special time here in Barcelona...and try not to dwell on the fleeting discomforts.  To hang on to the excitement of the "how's this all gonna end?" aspect of this part of pregnancy...when will he come...what will he look like...who is this little person?

Today was a great day.  We went down to the park to wander and enjoy just being together outside in our neighborhood.  The bubble man was out, and for once, we weren't in a hurry to get to or from some place, so we took the opportunity to stop and let the kids play with the bubbles for as long as they wanted.    There are just way too many great pictures to choose from, so here they all are...