The Greatest Gift

So, I spend a fair amount of my limited down time on the Internet.  I'm not proud of this, nor is it something I necessarily enjoy all of the time.  Especially when I'm feeling exhausted, short-tempered, and overwhelmed with the daily grind at home...is computer time really the thing that will fill me back up?  The answer is always a resounding, no.  I am constantly in a state of mental reorganization...re-prioritizing activities to feel like I am not zoning out, but actually trying to invest in myself.  Because when I don't, it's obvious.  Inevitably, I'm faced with the fact that social media should be the first to go.  But my reality is that I'm a stay-at-home mother living in a foreign country, and every time I tell myself its time to just cut it off completely, I think about how much easier it is to just pop up a picture of the kids or a blog update and know that everyone in our immediate and extended family can know what we are up to, and see the kids.  Especially baby Jordi, who hasn't even been introduced in the flesh yet.  And I love feeling like we are somehow still connected to our family's lives.  It serves a purpose right now, and I can't ignore that.

But I have to say, I hate what seems to be happening as a result of the social media craze.  I have read a handful of articles and blogs recently, linked from facebook accounts, commenting on the overall feeling of inadequacy folks are feeling as a result of social media.  Declaring mothers who choose to post pictures of their children happily doing art projects "fakes" or "posers", who aren't telling the real story of parenting.   Because they aren't snapping pictures of their children having meltdowns or tantrums.  Bloggers calling out these bragging, liars who choose to pass along inspiration rather than the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  Articles about Pinterest overload, and folks feeling like the onslaught of outfits, room decor, and baked goods is screaming at them "get off your ass and start creating, you uninspired sloth!".

I don't get it.  Honestly, I just don't.  When was social media ever intended to be a complete and total representation of someones life?  And what parent in their right mind would ever assume that what they see photographed by another parent somehow represents the minute to minute reality of that family?  Chris and I have a running joke.  He is convinced only our children have meltdowns and tantrums because he never sees other kids on the street screaming or yelling.  I now make sure I point out every tantrum I see as we walk by, but more than that, I always ask him how it is possible to use the 30 seconds it takes for us to pass a child as the barometer for their entire lives.  Similarly, how can we take the newsfeed of information and photos online as a complete picture?  We can't.  Because it was never intended to be.  The bad is a given.  Anyone who believes otherwise is setting themselves up for a life of misery.

Similarly, why the pressure from Pinterest?  Granted, I don't use Pinterest a ton...mostly to get ideas for outfits and recipes.  And when I do log on, I kind of like the little mosaic of pictures that have recently been posted from other people. But it seems there is a common perception that we can't use some great piece of technology, intended to connect the world with ideas, thoughts, and inspiration, without somehow feeling like we are missing out big time, or failing, in our own lives.

Now, I'm not about to get up on a high horse and play the "I'm so worldly" card.  I'm not.  Far from it.  But I have to say, spending time abroad, more specifically in Barcelona, has changed the way I look at these kinds of issues.  It has made me a happier, less anxious person because it has allowed me to step back and see that, with all else stripped away, I am enough.  Having a granite kitchen and Pottery Barn distressed coffee table isn't a measure of life.  Because as we've all seen from social media, even those with "the most" end up wanting more because they are under the illusion someone else has it.

It's just so different here.  

No one cares if you have a mosaic tiled back splash because they are more concerned with using the kitchen to cook a meal to share with friends.  Moreover, they prefer to get up and out altogether, meeting at cafes and spending time outside.  Apartments are tiny, kitchens are admired only for their functionality, and no one gives a rat's ass how someone else's home is decorated or if you made designer cupcakes for your kid's birthday party.  Terraces, on the other hand, seem to be the biggest source of envy!

No one cares what kind of purse you have, or how expensive your boots are, or whether your sunglasses are designer or not.  Fashion is about what inspires you, a kind of self expression that it seems only the Spanish know how to pull off.  Their beauty lies in their confidence, which is created only in a atmosphere that isn't constantly barraging them with reminders that what they look like, or how they dress, isn't good enough.

Cars are used only on an as needed basis, and again, are meant to serve a function only, not to send a statement to the world about how much money you have.

I could go on for pages.  Bottom line, the message here is:  do your damn thing.  Whatever that may be.  We won't bother you.

We won't judge you.
We won't compare ourselves to you.
We don't expect you to compare yourself to us.
If you think it is beautiful, then it is.
If you think it is fun, then it is.
If you think it's crap, then it is.
If you think that is how it is best to raise your kids, then it is.

Because it's YOUR life.

This alone, this message, has been the greatest gift I've received while on this adventure.

Do your damn thing, people.  Whatever that may be.

We can use these images of perfection on social media simply as tiny pieces of art presented to us.  Meant only to inspire and admire, choose what we like, then move on knowing our life is filled with exactly the people and things that are important only to US, and that is enough.