Home Again

My mother and I -- first hug in 6 months

There are moments when it is hard to be away from family...and moments when it is impossible to be away from family. I had one of those impossible moments a few weeks back, after a conversation with my mother about the declining health of my grandmother.  Although her condition was not unexpected, it didn't make it any easier to accept that I was 3000 miles away during a time when our family needed to be together. It had been six months since I had seen family, and I felt every piece of myself longing to be home. A week later, Evan and I had a flight booked to Boston to do just that. To be with family. To recharge our batteries. To say goodbye to Grandma. I knew it was going to be an exhausting week, and it was. We had about 5 full days to see our immediate families spread across the outer reaches of the state, but I knew it was important to do it. And although it was short...and I wish Chris and Mia were there with us...and wish we had time to see more family and more friends...I'm so very glad we went.
 

The trip did have a bumpy start.  To begin with -- our flight to Boston was scheduled for Blizzard Friday, excellent timing, I must say.  We pushed it back to Monday, which made for a very crowded flight, but regardless, we made it to the US in time for all the snow chaos to have cleared.   

Chris had to stay behind for work, and we decided that it would be best for Mia to hang back in Barcelona as well.  She is more sensitive to the jet lag, and tends to get exhausted quickly while traveling.  Evan has always been a very easy going traveler, and I knew he would really appreciate and understand this time home to see family.  Plus -- his 4th birthday was coming up, so it was a special treat for everyone to be able to celebrate with him in person!

The best part about going home is realizing that we can always pick up where we left off. I say it everytime we are home... “I feel like I never left”. As a family we sit around the kitchen talking, we make breakfast together, we lay in our Pjs. It is easy, not forced, and it doesn't feel like anything has changed...even though just about everything in my life has. 
 

 

An especially nice part of this trip was watching Evan with his older cousins. My sisters' combined four children are 4-8 years older than Evan, yet all seem to love taking him under their wing to show him their toys and games. And this isn't a “ain't life wonderful, let's sugar coat the world” kind of statement.. they really are kind of nauseatingly sweet to each other. My heart swells to see that kind of bond between them. Like the best kind of brothers and sisters. The kind you are always happy to see. Even better, I was a free woman! It was the first time I was able to visit with my sisters, and have Evan off running around with the rest of the kids while I sipped coffee and relaxed. I'm usually changing diapers, soothing a crying baby, putting someone down for a nap, or making sure someone is not going to fall down the stairs. I was loving this big kid time...for Evan and Mama.

Jake and Cam greeted Evan with hugs and cookies :)

Cuddle time

 

Grammie and Evan

Why yes.  That IS me screaming for joy in front of Target. 

My sister and I

My niece Addie made this amazing cake!!!

4 years old!

 

I got rub the beautiful baby bump that is my future nephew...my gorgeous sister-in-law looking adorable and happy at about 6 months along.

She models her new gift from Lynne aka "Meemah"

Uncle Jay helping Evan build his new train set



A very happy Nannie and Evan

More Uncle Jay time

And there was Grandma.

Grandma and I two months before we left for Barcelona

Family, in general, I find to be a fascinating dynamic.  I wholeheartedly believe the most interesting people you meet in your life will be the people in your own family. You are entrusted with their imperfections, and privileged (or burdened...) with their opinions. You see them when vulnerable and you are holding them at their highest during moments of greatness.  Yet, after all this time together, and with all this knowledge...we don't always understand the people in our family. There are those dynamic family members in every family that always keep you guessing.  We've all got 'em.  I used to think I had to have everyone figured out.  Mold relationships into what I thought it should be according to the Bible of Acceptable Family Relationships. But the truth is, sometimes you just have to step back and acknowledge the person and the relationship for exactly what is is. Because although we are tied together as family, we are all really just individuals on our own path, searching for our own meaning...however different from each other as it may be. And it is often different.  As family we share space, and we are privy to each other's paths, but it doesn't mean we have to be on the same one.  We are there to support each other, to influence each other...to open each other's eyes to new perspectives, other lifestyles, and help stretch our understanding of generational differences. And sometimes...we are just there to observe.  To choose to remember and take in the best of what the other person has to offer, and shrug off what we don't yet understand.

As a first generation American who grew up during the time of the depression, Grandma always had a big personality. Growing up in that generation, I personally think that is just who you had to be...focused and determined to survive. Eyes straight ahead. One foot in front of the other. I came to know my Grandmother as a regimented, stylish, self-disciplined woman who places great value on hard work. She loves to entertain, has a generous heart, and loves her family. She isn't the quiet Grandma in the kitchen baking cookies...she is the Grandma refinishing the deck and hanging dry wall. :)

 

During our visit, Grandma asked me, "Is this how your children will remember me?  Sick in bed?"
 

I held her hand as I spoke. I told her my memories of going to her house for holidays as a child...the beautifully decorated tables, the food and the traditions.   I will remember her awesome fried chicken, and potato salad with eggs...when she insisted I drink warm orange juice as a child to “coat the throat” and rid the sickness, and the little animal figurines she would save for me from her Red Rose tea boxes. I will remember her beautifully curled blonde hair, the string of bright beads around her neck that always matched her shoes, and her attention to detail. I choose to remember a Grandma with a bold personality and accessories to match.   I assured her, that is how my children will remember her too.  I said goodbye, and told her I loved her.

It wasn't an easy week...certainly more emotionally charged and physically exhausting than our two week vacation to the US in August. But, it was necessary.